A Women’s Day interview series with mothers who create.
Meet Ioanna Charalambous, a Cypriot artist living in the UK.
Who are you?
My name is Ioanna Charalambous. I am a mother to a lively 3 year old boy and I am an artist from Cyprus living in the UK.
How did motherhood actually change you? not the beautiful Instagram version – the real one. What has been the hardest shift in your identity?
Motherhood changed me on many levels. Neurologically, my brain was never the same. I literally got a heightened sense for danger now, almost like a spidey sense pre-empting anything that could go wrong with my son.
My body was also never the same (goodbye boobies) but my creativity has never felt brighter and I have a new found love for appreciating moments.
I also didn’t fully understand the strength women carry until I became a mother myself. Going through pregnancy, labour and the early postpartum period gave me a new respect for my body and for myself.
Matrescence made me more emotional, but strangely it also made me more fearless.
When you move through something as life-altering as birth and come out the other side, it shifts your sense of what you’re capable of.
Also, I can’t watch horror movies anymore either. Now that is a weird one.
What did you say or believe about motherhood before becoming a mother that feels naïve now?
That mothers lose themselves.
Now I think that idea is far too simplistic and reductive. Mothers don’t lose themselves, they shapeshift, and that process takes time. It can feel disorienting because you’re learning to live with a new human who changes constantly, while also adjusting to a completely new version of yourself.
Matrescence is an existential shift in identity, not just a phase.
Just as you give birth to a child, you also give birth to a new version of yourself.
It’s miraculous, deserves far more respect and recognition than it receives in our patriarchal, productivity-driven society.
Do you truly find time for yourself? What does self-care realistically look like in your life right now?
Not in the same way I used to, but finding a bit of time to take care of myself so I can then take care of my son is important no matter how little the time is.
Self care now also means having patience with myself and accepting my new self and new normality. I may not exercise as much or have the time to do things like my nails, but I try to carve out moments that help me feel like myself again.
Things like watching tv have fallen down my priority list to make time for creative work or movement because being healthy and strong is a must when you are raising a child.
Motherhood can be loud, overwhelming and chaotic. How do you cope when everything feels like too much? What helps you regulate yourself in those moments?
Before becoming a mother I rarely felt overstimulated, but now it’s something I recognise, especially when sleep hasn’t been great.
Quiet time helps a lot. Reading, journalling, or exercising gives me space to reset and regulate.
I’m also lucky to have a supportive partner. We try to recognise when one of us is reaching our limit and step in for each other, particularly after long tantrums or long days.
Also, early bedtimes are a real gift!
Follow Ioanna’s work here